Perfect

I've been doing a lot of backward thinking lately. Before I started working for the Providence Fire Department life was good. The bills were paid, I owned a successful business, my wife and kids were happy and so was I.

I'm still happy, and so is my wife, and so are the kids. Only there is a difference-a big difference. Over the last twenty-two years I have been fortunate enough to experience more perfect moments than any person deserves. Prior to my fire department career the only times in my life that I can remember being perfectly in synch with my mind and body, where a nuclear bomb could go off and I wouldn't notice, when I felt truly alive, and powerful, and nearly invincible was while doing the very thing that makes us immortal; the act of procreation.

Being inside a burning building, heat nearly unbearable, Scott running low, deep, nothing but blackness outside my mask, nothing but a hundred feet of tangled, charged line behind me and nothing on my mind but the battle is the closest I've come to that. Or nearly every time I ran a code, whether the patient was a ninety year old lady from the nursing home, a kid shot a dozen times or some middle aged guy who totaled his car and blew out his aorta.

Those precious moments when time stands still, and nothing matters but the job at hand now mean much more to me than I ever realized. When I thought I would live forever, and fight a thousand fires, and save a thousand lives-or not, they were just part of my shift, and I took them for granted, never imagining that it might all end.

Well, the end is near. I've had more perfect moments than most people dare dream, and I've loved every second. I just wish it could go on forever.

1 Comment

  • It can't. Go on forever that is. There comes a time when you have to step away and let the next generation take over. When that day comes, you'll wonder where all the time went and worry about all that still has to be done. Then you realize that it's no longer your job to do it and walk away happy knowing that the people who came before you did your part, you did your part,  and the people there now and the people who will come along in the future will do their part.
    That is the mark of a successful career.

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Michael Morse

JEMS Talk: Google Hangout

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Comments
Thomas Baltimore Sr.
The Right to Continue to Die
thomas.baltimore@yahoo.com is my email address thank you but you need a better reason but if not BY BY thank you, Thomas J. Baltimore Sr.
2014-10-27 16:33:26
Thomas Baltimore Sr.
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I have put all the *** info. that is mark??????????????????????
2014-10-27 16:28:02
Thomas Baltimore Sr.
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THEY HAD NOT FROUND ALL THEY BROTHERS YET. They wanted to bring them home for they love ones. they want to do what their brothers would do if they had been lost. I have never lost one of my firefighters. But have been to other dept. that had. You do what ever you can to…
2014-10-27 16:25:48
Leckey Harrison
The Blog
Michael - I read your blog that ended up in UniformStories. I can relate, though to a lesser degree. I want to offer you a training (don't us firefighters love training?) that will enable you to release the stress that keeps you up at night. It will help reduce PTSD, trauma, and stress, and you…
2014-10-23 19:34:03
Andrew
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We've already had this discussion, but I like the Grateful Dead version of Bobby McGee better than Janis'.
2014-10-19 19:49:31

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