Perfect

I've been doing a lot of backward thinking lately. Before I started working for the Providence Fire Department life was good. The bills were paid, I owned a successful business, my wife and kids were happy and so was I.

I'm still happy, and so is my wife, and so are the kids. Only there is a difference-a big difference. Over the last twenty-two years I have been fortunate enough to experience more perfect moments than any person deserves. Prior to my fire department career the only times in my life that I can remember being perfectly in synch with my mind and body, where a nuclear bomb could go off and I wouldn't notice, when I felt truly alive, and powerful, and nearly invincible was while doing the very thing that makes us immortal; the act of procreation.

Being inside a burning building, heat nearly unbearable, Scott running low, deep, nothing but blackness outside my mask, nothing but a hundred feet of tangled, charged line behind me and nothing on my mind but the battle is the closest I've come to that. Or nearly every time I ran a code, whether the patient was a ninety year old lady from the nursing home, a kid shot a dozen times or some middle aged guy who totaled his car and blew out his aorta.

Those precious moments when time stands still, and nothing matters but the job at hand now mean much more to me than I ever realized. When I thought I would live forever, and fight a thousand fires, and save a thousand lives-or not, they were just part of my shift, and I took them for granted, never imagining that it might all end.

Well, the end is near. I've had more perfect moments than most people dare dream, and I've loved every second. I just wish it could go on forever.

1 Comment

  • It can't. Go on forever that is. There comes a time when you have to step away and let the next generation take over. When that day comes, you'll wonder where all the time went and worry about all that still has to be done. Then you realize that it's no longer your job to do it and walk away happy knowing that the people who came before you did your part, you did your part,  and the people there now and the people who will come along in the future will do their part.
    That is the mark of a successful career.

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Michael Morse

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Comments
Michael Morse
Adrenaline Junky
Thank you Renee! I was starting to think I was the only one. Stay safe out there.
2014-08-21 17:02:24
Renee
Adrenaline Junky
Ya know, I identify with everything you just said! But then I am a special kind of twisted, because I recently got back into EMS after having been out of it for 20 years... I'm not a nurse, I'm a MEDIC and damn proud of it! We in EMS are a special breed and not…
2014-08-21 16:43:47
John Corrigan
EMS Staffed by Nurses
Let us not forget who started this whole EMS / medic thing; Clara Barton, RN "Angel of the Battlefield" who founded the American Red Cross. My point is, this has always been a collaboration through the years. Only due to nursing shortages and the frequency of injury on our "highways and bi-ways" there was a…
2014-08-21 14:21:56
Ben Ploner
EMS Staffed by Nurses
Maybe i'm missing something, but what does a transfer truck have to do with community paramedicine? Regardless, i'm in Canada and there have been a number of successful projects here using blended RN/Paramedic staffing to fill physician shortages in rural communities, as well as both using both NP's and Paramedics to deliver hospital grade care…
2014-08-20 16:13:54
Andy Jason
EMS Staffed by Nurses
Reading these comments makes me laugh and be angry both. The rig you see pictured, is not used as a 911 ambulance. This rig is used for RN and CCT transfers. I work for this company, and yes we do have RNs that fill street shifts on the paramedic ambulances. When in these trucks there…
2014-08-20 15:25:11

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