Just to prove I’m an idiot I decided to obsess about my blood pressure. First, I checked it in the rescue in the middle of a twenty-four hour shift. 148/90. Then, I did it at the hospital. 144/92. Then I did it again, and again and again, switching from the rescue to the hospital, always with the same results, 140’s over 90’s.
Being the OCD type, I took this little obsession home with me, and when at the local CVS or Walmart stick my arm into the Accu-Check machine. 120/80. And again, 118/76. And again, 128/80. We have a centuries old BP cuff and stethoscope on the top shelf of our linen closet, pilfered from one of the kid’s Ken and Barbie play doctor sets, and utilizing my lovely assistant, Cheryl, would hold blood pressure clinics in my kitchen. 120’s over seventies every time.
I had a doctor’s appointment, and lo and behold, back to 142/92. The doctor suggested medication, I decided to walk faster and eat less. A few weeks later, same deal, at work 140’s over 90’s, at home 120’s over 80’s.
This was puzzling. Hmmmm, I said to myself, and slept on it for a few weeks.
We had a mutual aid call to one of the suburbs surrounding Providence. Never one to let an opportunity pass, I stuck my arm in the rescues machine, and viola! 120/80.
With a new hypothesis firmly entrenched in my noggin, I visited a CVS in Providence. 148/96. My doctor’s office is also in Providence.
Through sound scientific expirimentation and using a dummy (yours truly) as a test subject I have reached the conclusion that Providence, in and of itself causes an increase in ones stress levels.
Therefore, in conclusion, I have surmised that walking faster, eating less and avoiding work is the only rational answer.
Step 3-damn, I need the check!
Since retiring in July of 2016 BP holding steady at 120/80, most of the time.