Top 5 Worst Places for Emergency Operations
1) The ER Restroom
Two choices, Bleach covered buns after the janitor makes his hourly rounds or piss ass prior to. The advantage is that the stench created is barely noticed due to the fetid aroma emanating from the patient area.
2) Any Other Hospital Bathroom
How do the hottest nurses instinctively know exactly when to walk past the scene of the crime at exactly the wrong time?
3) The Gas Station
It’s no-man’s land in there. Toilet seat touchdown is forbidden, a suspended squat the only alternative. Breaking out the Haz-Mat suit is recommended, and if time permits consider donning the SCBA.
4) The Local Coffee Shop
Dear god, why does a coffee shop lock the damned doors and make us beg for the key!
5) The Fast Food Rest Room
What is worse than having “to go” and stumbling onto an overdose victim? “Sorry sir, I'”ll start CPR as soon as I lose the load in my britches.” They really should have “Rest Rooms” and “Shooting Up Rooms” in those places.
Life on the road is tough. There’s noplace to go like home.